no turning back

it was meant to be good. but why did it last minute turn out like this? so many at times i wish to question, i wish to rebut, i wish to drop out, i wish to give all this up. but what is this thing within that wishes to hold on. when all was being said, i wasnt feeling anything. it was just pain and more pain coming along. the tears did not roll, the mouth could not speak. the sense of confusion lingers. its been many times, we know that too. sometimes do you even think you know us? what is this gap between, never thought of understanding or appreciating. all the time it would be the same old words, thanks alot. was thinking more of You. the same members, the same place, location, instruments, everything was so identical. but why is it when You disappear, everything follows as well. what is that magic power? could i bring it back w a million tears? a million cries? if it weren't so important, it wldnt have hogged my thoughts for so long. i thought i could forget that easily. you've finally said what you yearned to, long ago. so i see your true colors once again. the initial help was not even given. no confidence level and assurance at all, is that what we should receive? once again, just say you've never trusted us w anything because right from the start, we aren't worthy or what you think. if there is a need, i will leave. just shut your mouth and masking tape it, please.